Control

I'm struggling today. I'm struggling with the desire to control and shape the way people see me, the way they react to me. I want to be certain things to certain people and while my brain knows that it's fruitless, my compulsion to please people is screaming at me to FIX THINGS. My paranoia and my neuroses are straining at my nerves to find a way to make some people accept me, make others appreciate me, and get a handle on what it will take for them to see me how I want them to see me.

I need to let go, I need to throw my hands up and say, "Oh well." L can dislike me and be condescending, and A can be continually disappointed and angry, but I have NO CONTROL over that. All I can do is make the right choices for today and continue to try to be content with what and who I am, regardless of the perceptions of others.

Not like that makes it much easier.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change"